Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
