hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Maybe he injected his testicle?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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