i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
