i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
