At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
