can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
