I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
