A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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