you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
