Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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