Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
