I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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