you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
