grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
