Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
