I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
