We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
