You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
