Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
