how can u be prego again
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
