i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You're like the curious george of whores
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
