it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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