let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
