I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
