you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
