He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
