I think I died a long time ago.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
