She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
