She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Please don't give away my fajitas
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
