I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i dont even know how to be here
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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