pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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