i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
