i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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