i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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