whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
