Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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