im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
