This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
