Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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