Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
