so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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