Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
