C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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