Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
