Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
