no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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