Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
