Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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