idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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