so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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