I think i peed on brittanys purse
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
