who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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